What's up?

I've been quiet for 3 months. That doesn't mean things here have been quiet, just that I haven't bothered to sit down and write.

So, my quest to be healthier (and skinnier) was going great! I lost nearly 20lbs. I was down to 141! Lower than when I started my first pregnancy nearly 12yrs ago. Alas, God told me it is not to stay that way. You see, I was just looking too fine. The beer was good. And pregnancy seven (yes SEVEN) is underway! Yikes! I've already gained 5lbs. Some of that is from increasing my food intake from 1100ish calories a day, and much of it is from a decreased workout schedule. I know in theory, I can still work out like I did before. In reality, I have been so darned tired, and when you feel like you are going to throw up when you run, you tend to not run. I need to get back into doing something but I think running is on hold.

That really is the "big" (or at least the unexpected) thing that happened to us this summer. All the drama camps and tennis lessons, while keeping me busy were planned. I had an idea how I was going to get all of that done. The baby(ies) well, they be another story. My van fits 8, that is 6 kids, 2 adults. If I ever want my hubby in the same car with me again, we need a bigger car. I gave away pretty much all our baby stuff as Rita outgrew it. Yes, monetary fears racked me when I saw the test results, but the bigger fear is ME. How am I going to handle adding more kids to the crew? And did I mention that I will be 40.5 when this pregnancy delivers? Oy Vey!

And then there is the fear of multiples. You see, as you get older AND as you have more pregnancies, your risk of multiples is higher. I am more than a little concerned that there is more than one in there. God only gives you what you can handle. (repeat, until calmer)

Do you want to know the worst part if there is more than one? It isn't that I MUST buy a bigger van, though that is a concern, it is that my doctor wouldn't be able to deliver. :( You see, I go to a general prac. And if we have twins (or more) she can't deliver as the risk of c-sections is higher. She will have to refer me to an OB. I already don't get "my" doula. She retired from doula-ing. I need to get a different doula. Yes, I know, women deliver without doulas all the time. I also know that I do better if there is someone in the room I don't know that well and I have to "keep up appearances for" not to mention, it is not inconceivable that Steve will have to leave to take care of one of our other 6 children. And then there is the fact that if I have a doula, I have an "in" on getting the things I want at the hospital. Want the birthing ball, no problem, the doula is there JUST FOR ME, she will go look for it, not when she has time between patients, but now. Need more towels? Same thing. Doulas are great! :)